- Forgotten fathers
- What man can do
- How about sex in pregnancy?
- What is there to learn in the birth preparation?
- What should be taken at birth?
- What should the fathers pay attention to after delivery?
- What happens at home?
- When may one have intercourse again?
For many couples, starting a family is a conscious decision - but some are also surprised. For women, pregnancy is a major change, and after birth, all life changes. The expectant fathers are often left out. They do not get a big belly, do not suffer from drastic changes in hormones and mood swings and do not have to worry about the pain of birth.
Therefore, often little consideration is given to the expectant fathers. They should be "just there" after the birth. How they become as good as possible fathers, is not so important at first. Especially with the first child, the changes in everyday life are extremely drastic. Man (n) can not really prepare for it in detail. But there are ways in which the fathers get along well with the pregnancy of their partner, the birth and especially with the time afterwards.
What man can do
First, expectant fathers should find out how a pregnancy works. The men should know what is going on in the belly of the partner. She, in turn, should include him so that he gets to know the feeling when the child makes the first noticeable moves. If the pregnancy is already advanced, it can provoke the movements of the child properly. This allows the fathers to build a relationship with the child in particular. For the woman, it should be noticeable whether he strokes her or the child. This, too, must be made aware of by the expectant fathers. A pregnant woman needs a lot of love and tenderness.
How about sex in pregnancy?
In terms of sex, there is no restriction on a normal pregnancy. In some women, the feeling of pleasure during pregnancy is even increased. If the stomach becomes thicker, it can be more difficult under certain circumstances. By changing the positions you can still practice sexual intercourse. If there are medical objections to the traffic, one can certainly resort to other practices that can lead to the satisfaction and fulfillment of sexual pleasure. However, the wishes of the woman in this time should be in the foreground. If there are disagreements, the partners should talk to each other about it.
What is there to learn in the birth preparation?
Most expectant fathers smile at the pregnancy preparation courses. They can not only learn how to put on a diaper or bath the child, they also learn useful things about the birth and the puerperium. Those who know well can handle the changes better.
In the preparatory courses, among other things, relaxing gymnastics is presented and explained. Thus, at the end of the pregnancy, togetherness may become more intimate and relaxed in the arduous time. There is not always the awareness that the days of being alone are numbered. In addition, in the preparatory courses, you will learn massages, which can sometimes be helpful in treating labor during birth.
So there are only a few options - except for the presence of course - with which man can help a woman. Men usually learn in the courses that they stand helplessly beside the birth of their child, while the partner suffers pain, cries, cries and feels "at the end". For some men, the powerlessness to do nothing is difficult to digest.
What should be taken at birth?
Even for expectant fathers, the day of delivery is exhausting. One should pay attention to this:
- Not too warm, rather comfortable clothes (in the delivery room it is warm)
- Drinks or the possibility to buy drinks (small change)
- Something to eat, energy suppliers
- Camera, if desired
- Mobile phones should be switched off. "Conversations from outside" interfere with the delivery, especially since the devices in the maternity ward are usually prohibited.
What should the fathers pay attention to after delivery?
Newly baked fathers should pay attention to the interests of their partner after the birth. Often, mothers are overwhelmed with the countless visits, but do not dare to say so. In addition, from about the third day, the so-called "howling day" comes. The cause is the hormone change in the female body. Here, the men usually can not do much. They should just be there, sometimes it is enough to "hug" and help more than a thousand words.
What happens at home?
At home, the first problems come to the young family. The mother is tired, broken and "only" there for the baby. It will work as long as everything is new. After a few weeks, most men are quite happy when they can at least temporarily escape the whole situation through their job. Often there are moments when women even envy them.
Men should engage in the mother-child relationship during this time.They should take over tasks: to bathe, to wrap the child or to take him for a walk so that the partner can sleep for one hour without an "open ear". This is good for the partnership and the relationship with the child. Does living together in such a way, there is no pronounced imbalance in terms of child care. Partnership conflicts may be avoided. Men should find their own way of dealing with the child, which the partner should also accept. Each parent finds his personal access. Whether it is correct can be measured, among other things, by the satisfaction of the child.
When may one have intercourse again?
If the weekly flow stops after about six weeks and any cracks or cuts have healed, it is theoretically possible to have intercourse again. However, women often do not feel like it. This is partly due to the burden of motherhood. The new mothers are simply tired, exhausted and broken. This can be the fear of pain or a renewed pregnancy.
Sometimes women just want tenderness, warmth, security - and no sex. For men, this is usually difficult to understand. Especially breastfeeding women are often exhausted on the emotional level because they constantly give the child food, warmth and security. It is important to replenish the "memory".
The woman's body is changed after delivery and the figure does not change immediately. It takes time for the changes from the past nine months to regress. The vagina can be changed by pregnancy and birth, it is wider and less tension. Through pelvic floor exercises can be counteracted. In addition, this reduces the risk that the woman later involuntarily loses urine.
Being a father is hard. Even men should become aware of their needs and express them. Children mean a constant compromise with their own egoism - that concerns fathers and mothers.